5am on the bathroom floor, from the night before.

Awaking from my position upon the floor I blinked away sleep quickly before surveying my surrondings. It took me seconds to see where I was. Even if I were blind I would know that smell as if it were always around him. His home was little of a home now, as they had taken everything from the house. All that remained was myself, casting a grim and lonely shadow on the stained carpet. An ominous wind curved with the air and indicated a storm casting grey upon the horizons. I stood by the window, waiting. Waiting.

I was asking for this moment to come as though it were some sort of enjoyment. As if I enjoyed living my nightmares, and facing the monster responsible for my fear. Though he was hardly a monster, and this were hardly a fear, nor was it a nightmare. No, it's not something that you would even class as horrible, not a negitive thought crosses peoples mind when they're faced with the concept of love.

And I bet as soon as I said that your immediate thoughts were drawn to the beautiful lines of old poets, the cheesy scenes in movies, and the love at first sight type of things. But no, love is so much more than that, and in reality, its so much more to be fearful of. Its giving somebody the power to destroy you from the inside out, its giving somebody the trust you could never give anybody but yourself. Its listening to them and their needs before listening to yourself and your own wants. Its sitting up until odd hours of the morning waiting for phone calls, which destroy your sleeping patterns, its knowing deep down inside your heart that while your lying awake at night he's sleeping in her bed, not thinking about you at all.

Its love, thats what love is, and thats what I feared the most. My heart, was all I feared. It took me everything to love something, but not the way it should.

I was ready this time, and as I turned from the window to face my love, the first drops of rain fell on the tin roof and dripped from the trees swaying high above.


- Emily Jade

People, Anonymous. 10 Anonymous people.

1. We've had some good times you and I. But you've decided its your time to grow up, and move on. Somewhere I can't find the belief that you are willing to grow up, but I believe in you. So once again, thank-you for being such a close friend. But this is goodbye.

2. It took us two hours worth of distance to see how great of a relationship we really had. To see that we actually weren't that different, and that you actually are an amazing person. I'm sorry that I had to leave, I wish I could come back.

3. You've never done anybody any wrong. But I'm scared our relationship might be straying. Through other bonds with other people. I'm scared, but I don't think I can help this. It might just be one of those things you know ?

4. Your fake, your a liar, your a copy, your everything I hate in a person. And this just makes me feel more and more sorry for you. It really does, sorry I pretended to be your friend. I wish I could help you, but I can't.

5. I know, you live really far away. And I know that once, I thought I felt something for you. Something that was important, but things pass and we come to terms with the fact that we have to move on. You hurt me time and time again, and I lied and hurt you too. But now you've changed, for the worse. Much much worse. Your not the person I thought you were, I should've listened when everybody told me that.

6. You, you are beautiful, no matter what anybody says to you. And I love you for who you are. Our late night conversations, and you getting angry at me for hating Twilight. You've listened to me when I was upset, and given me advice time and time again. Granted, sometimes I don't listen but you'll always know I love you, no matter what. And I miss you too baby <3

7. You, I can't even begin to describe what I feel towards you. Is it hate ? Is it passionate distaste? Either way, I'll be glad to never meet you. You hurt so many people, and I'm sure you wont stop. I hope they find you, I do.

8. What a shame really. That all of what we had went to waste. That you separated our friends, by spreading childish rumors. But I'm sorry I messed up. I really am. Maybe we'd still have what we wanted now, maybe. But everything happens for a reason, and I can hope one day you'll forgive me, and I wont feel so shameful.

9. I want everything to work out between us, and I will stick around. I promise. and, no. Thank-you.

10. Sorry, I ever tried.